The Secret Gnostic Notes of CUSP the Second, representing the true subtext and revealed mission of one meeting of the current Strategic Planning Process.
The issue posed to the group at the last planning session was to answer the following question: What are the driving questions? The commissioners' responses, as recorded on flip charts and transcribed by specially trained commissioners:
1. Before beginning to try to answer this, we need to define what we mean by "driving questions."
2. Given that driving involves movement, I think we should think about our history. SFSU has historically steered to the left. Should we follow precedent or steer to the right?
3. Perhaps, in a heretical notion, we might even consider going straight ahead.
4. In its most basic form, driving is composed of steering, braking and acceleration processes. We need to prioritize very carefully among these elements and choose only the most crucial aspects of driving to focus on.
5. Driving needs to be seen as a collective, collaborative, fully consensus-laden process that cannot be done merely once but which must be engaged in continuously and thoughtfully.
6. What elements have been left out of the current driving experience - what do we need to do to attract and train incipient new drivers?
7. Before talking about driving per se, we should think about what sort of vehicle we aspire to become.
8. Building on the previous comment, we should not try to be a Mercedes when a VW is a better fit for our campus.
9. Why just think of cars? What about public, PUBLIC, transit?
10. Sonoma has become a destination driver campus - can we identify what would make us a destination vehicle?
11. The solution to the problem of how to become a destination campus will be amazingly simple. We partner with MUNI, garnering political points for that all by itself, by providing a chunk of campus, perhaps the football field, for use as a streetcar lot and final stop, the way Balboa Park is currently used. We may even be able to get some extra money for programs out of the deal. From then on, when commuters board an M, K or L streetcar, they will see right under the car's "Destination" sign the words "SFSU" - bringing instant recognition, celebrity, and branding for State. The destination will both implicit and explicit - we cannot lose. Everyone else in the CSU will wonder why they didn't think of this first.
12. Talking to those who are already drivers who have come from our driving experience would allow us to analyze and anticipate drivers' needs. How do they brake? How many accidents have they had? Let's look at their liability insurance rates.
13. Funding will limit any R&D we might do on steering, braking or accelerating systems, unless legislative priorities change.
14. The driving experience is relative - we should see how we compare to other vehicles with an eye to funding priorities.
15. Often none of the major driving functions operate because the first step - putting the key into the ignition - does not work. How do we design an easy-to-use, well-fitting ignition key?
16. Statistically it is clear that braking is far more important than any other driving operation. We should construct robust, interactive, responsive braking programs, assessing our progress by measuring skid marks.
17. While braking is obviously important, and we should never question safety as a concern, it is much more difficult, but perhaps more distinctive, to build good acceleration qualities in a vehicle. We need to examine qualities of fuel available, mileage requirements and maximum top speed before designing acceleration programs.
18. We need to let the campus know not only that we are going fast, but communicate to all elements of campus just HOW fast we are going.
19. Acceleration is a subjective, perceived quality and we may be able to provide a greater sense of speed (by blurring programs, for example) that will allow a more exciting & satisfying driving experience.
20. While braking and acceleration are obviously clear and present issues, I suggest an emphasis on steering. Sometimes avoiding an oncoming hurdle is best done not by speeding up or stopping but by veering in a strategic direction.
21. It would be best if we had a steering plan, perhaps utilizing already existing structures so we are not reinventing the wheel.
22. No one has mentioned the structure of the vehicle itself, which after all determines safety, reliability and quality.
23. We should not ignore the importance of small driving communities.
24. Returning to braking importance: while steering is fine, sometimes you have to stop immediately. Recommend strong brake cooling systems to counteract the heat built up by braking.
25. Students overwhelmingly appreciate good, quality, spillproof cupholders.
26. If more time is spent accelerating, we will drive ahead of the whole system and then not have to worry so much about directional or stopping questions.
27. Braking heat is the result of friction. In our department we have found that adequate appropriate lubrication in the form of merit raises,chemical means at departmental functions, or other administrative carrots (free photocopying and the like), limits heat build-up and tends to limit excessive faculty noise as well.
28. This is exactly why some departments skid off the road completely! Academic friction is entirely normal and healthy - we should not dampen it. Instead use of high-technology antiskid breaking systems is best, so we can devote our attention to more pressing matters.
29. No one has mentioned the dirty word - remedial driving. We need strong driver training at an early age, before drivers get to SFSU.
30. Referring back to hurdles: we need to recognize, de-legitimatize, and neutralize hurdles to achieve success.
31. Objection to the word "neutralize" which has a military or gender removal connotation. All genders are important and mention of the notion of neutering is anathema.
32. I said "neutralize" not "neuterize."
33. Hurdles have many forms and we have encountered this before. How has SFSU dealt with earlier hurdles.
34. We should examine earlier vehicle blueprints not only to learn from the past but to anticipate the needs of drivers ten years or more down the road.
35. Has anyone thought of a complete vehicle redesign? We may be trying to improve a Model T, when we really need a small, nimble hybrid or electric car.
Break into three focus groups, Aces, Deuces and Jacks. Narrow list down to three most vital Driving Questions.
1. Steering should be well funded and supported throughout campus2. Braking should be seamless and quiet.
3. Acceleration should be maximized to the fullest extent offered by funding.
1. To protect against braking, steering or acceleration failure, systems should be designed to withstand catastrophic pressures.2. Solicit extensive community involvement to create best featured/best priced vehicle.
3. Driving works optimally when steering, braking and accelerating are all coordinated.
Return to Satire
Driving experience should be braked by sound steering capacity and adequate, intelligent acceleration.